The Promenade Exploitation
by lankyphysicist
Summary: Story revolves around Sheldon and Amy's daughter, Mia, being roped into going to a prom she doesn't want to go to with a boy she doesn't particularly care for. Appearances made by Sheldon and Amy.
1. Chapter 1

Mia Cooper was not one for mornings. She was also not one for caffeinated beverages, which only made attending high school even worse. Nevertheless, she found herself entering her locker permutation (it is _not_ a _combination_ ) at East Pasadena High School, just like she'd done for years now. Except this time she was met with a small pink woven basket, filled to the brim with Reese's cups, Kit Kats, and Hershey kisses.

 _Mia, it would be_ sweet _if you went to prom with me. - Eli_

She took a brief look over both shoulders, hoping that the young romantic wasn't watching her as she emptied the contents of the basket into the trash container she kept in her locker. She'd been expecting this invitation for a while, and she'd googled almost everything, but there just didn't seem to be any good way to turn down a prom proposal. She was going to have to rip it off like a bandage.

But later rather than sooner. Yeah. Definitely later.

She pulled her phone out of the pocket of her grey fleece zip-up jacket and quickly typed out a message.

 **To: Aunt Penny**

 _SOS. Eli. Basket of chocolates._

Mia's phone pinged within seconds.

 **From: Aunt Penny**

 _EOS?_

Mia checked her surroundings once more to ensure that there was, in fact, no Eli over shoulder.

 **To: Aunt Penny**

 _Nowhere in sight._

 **From: Aunt Penny**

 _Just pretend like you never got the basket?_

Lying. Of course lying was the only solution her Aunt Penny had to offer. Mia flipped her pin-straight brown hair over her shoulders and straightened her dress. There was no reason for her to be afraid. It was 2037, for crying out loud. America had had two consecutive female presidents. Women could do anything, even turn down a prom invitation.

It wasn't that Eli was a bad guy. He wasn't! But Mia just wasn't concerned with societal expectations. No college admission boards would ask her how many boyfriends she'd had or how many proms she'd attended. And to add to the disdain, she simply didn't care for social events. They made her feel more awkward and gangly than she already was. She would have been more than thrilled to add Eli to her circle of acquaintances, but he just wasn't content with that. And as far as Mia was concerned, that was his problem, not hers. She had to turn him down.

But later rather than sooner.

"Mia! Mia!"

And apparently 'later' was at that moment. The lanky girl's breath hitched when she saw his hopeful countenance. This was going to hurt her more than it hurt him.

"Hi, Eli..." she mumbled, hiding behind her long locks.

"Did you get the basket?" he interrogated, his eyes glowing with excitement.

She liked to think she was a better liar than her father, the esteemed Sheldon Cooper, but it was times like these that pointed her to reality. "No, what candy basket?" she stammered.

The young boy's shoulders dropped as he nervously adjusted his wire-rimmed glasses. "I didn't mention any candy, Mia."

It was just as well. She was allergic to chocolate. She avoided his gaze, instead toying with her right earring. "Listen, Eli, I- "

"Mia, please," he begged, taking her hand. She snatched it back, embittered. "You don't have to consider it a date, we'd just be two friends having a good time!"

She shoved her hands in her pockets. "Yes, but I know that you still _want_ it to be a date, Eli. You deserve to go to prom with someone who _wants_ to be your date."

"But I don't want to go with anyone else."

"Eli," she said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "There are tons of girls at this school who are much more socially inclined than I am..." she sucked in a quick breath, "and who probably already have their dresses picked out..." one more breath, "and who would love to go with you. Have your pick."

Mia quickly turned to walk away, but his hand caught her shoulder. She intended to research what qualified as assault in the United States as soon as she got home.

"Mia, please, I'm begging you."

"Eli- " she sighed, interrupted once again.

"One night, Mia. Then you'll never have to so much as look in my direction ever again."

Her front was crumbling. She was caving. Oh God. Oh any deity. Oh anybody.

"Okay."


	2. Chapter 2

Mia had had no intentions of getting her license. After all, she didn't really go anywhere besides to school and back, and she enjoyed a nice bike ride after school to clear her mind. But, of course, her mom had never been a fan of the possibility of her daughter being snatched by a predator. And with her parents work schedules becoming more and more hectic, Mia figured it would be helpful if she could run some errands for them every now and then.

She pulled into her dad's unused parking spot at Caltech and approached the building. She didn't have any intentions of conversing with either of her parents, but she didn't want to go home to an empty house. She figured she had less of a chance of running into a slimy organ if she visited her dad, so that's where she went.

She entered his office to find him studying a whiteboard, his arms crossed over his chest. He didn't appear to notice she had entered until she stood right beside him, mimicking his stance.

"Hey, kid," he greeted, not letting his eyes leave the board.

"Hey."

Mia waited at least twenty minutes for him to solve his problem before he further acknowledged her. And it was fine. She enjoyed her father's presence. It was never overbearing, but it was direct and it was truthful and it was exactly what she needed after being stuck in an institute of secondary education all day.

"So what brings you here?" he asked as he capped his expo marker and took a seat at his desk.

Mia sat in the chair across from him. She placed her elbows on the wooden surface and held her head in her hands. "Did you know that in the early 1900s, proms were just simple tea dances? It wasn't until the 1950s that prom became something so extravagant. Compare _It's a Wonderful Life_ to _Grease_ ," she implored as her father audibly groaned. "I know, I know. But just think about it. I would be totally fine with going to prom if I got to eat dinner and watch people fall into an underground pool, but I don't particularly care to watch Rizzo grind on some guy to make Kenickie jealous while Marty throws herself at Vince Fontaine!"

It was then that she realized she was hyperventilating. Her dad instinctively pulled out a paper bag from his top desk drawer and passed it to her. "Breathe, Mia, it's all right," he said, rubbing circles on her back. "We can watch _It's a Wonderful Life_ more often if that's what you want..."

She reposed herself. "No, dad, it's not that, it's just... You never had a girlfriend in your teen years, right?"

He snorted.

She continued. "And you turned out just fine! You didn't go to a dance until you were in your mid-thirties and you turned out just _fine_. I don't see why it's so wrong for me to tell a boy that I don't want to go to prom with him and why it's so hard to take no for an answer!"

"Mia, please, _breathe_ ," Sheldon begged, his forehead crinkling with anxiety just watching her.

She breathed into the paper bag and reached for the water bottle in her backpack. "Dad, all I ask from this world at the moment is to get through high school unscathed, but nobody is willing to help me out! Today a boy put chocolate in my locker because he wanted me to be his prom date, and Aunt Penny's advice for me was to just lie and say that I never received the chocolate, but she knows I can't lie about anything! But I'm so stupid so I tried to lie anyway and this boy had the audacity to make me feel _bad_ about lying to him, like are you serious? I could have _died_ eating that chocolate, or at least could have gotten a _severe_ migraine, but did he care? Of course not! So now I have to go to a prom that I don't want to go to so I can mingle with my peers who I don't really care for so I can make this boy happy so he doesn't _glare_ at me in the hallways during passing periods, which by the way, are not nearly enough time to go to your locker and then get to where you need to be and then God forbid you might have to go the _bathroom_ in that time because then you're just setting yourself up for a tardy on your attendance record!"

Sheldon had given up on the paper bag and instead opted to lead her out of the office towards the biology department. Mia didn't seem to notice as her father placed a guiding hand on her back and walked her through the hallways. She just kept talking about all the problems with the American education system, hardly stopping for breath in the five minute walk. Sheldon lightly tapped on his wife's door. She didn't answer at first, but he knew her game. If she opened the door, she ran the risk of entertaining grad students, so it was far better to pretend like she wasn't there.

"Amy, it's me," Sheldon called through the door.

Her neutral expression was replaced with one of surprise and elation as she twisted the doorknob. She was all too happy to see her husband and daughter, but her excitement faded when she saw that Mia was as white as a ghost and could barely stand on her own.

"Mia, what's wrong?" Amy asked, placing her hands on her daughter's cheeks.

"We're at Defcon 1, I'm gonna leave early and drive her home," Sheldon said.

"Oh, well take our car, we're only parked a few seconds from here. I'll drive Mia's," Amy negotiated, tossing her keys at Sheldon.

Mia withdrew from her dad's guiding hand and reached into her coat pocket for her keys. Amy took them from her hand and placed a kiss on her forehead.

"I love you both," she said, pecking Sheldon on the lips. "Drive cautiously please."

"I will," he reassured her.

As the two loves of her life exited the building, Amy couldn't help feel sorry for her only daughter. Mia had so many great qualities. She was patient like her mother, focused like her father, and she was so kind - kinder than both of her parents combined. But nobody only inherits good things, and they were destined to be a tiny family of worrywarts.


	3. Chapter 3

Leonard and Penny never had children. Leonard had always wanted one, but every time he brought up the topic of kids, his wife was insistent that it simply wasn't the right time yet. And when it finally _was_ the right time, it was too late. Nevertheless, the couple was grateful that they had Mia in their lives to act as a stand-in. For that reason, Leonard wasn't upset to find their honorary daughter slumped on his couch as he walked down the stairs one Saturday morning.

"Mia?" he asked groggily, tightening the ties on his robe. He was surprised to see her, but at the same time... not.

"Oh hey," she greeted casually, holding up the spare key to his home that he had given Sheldon and Amy.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, sitting down next to her.

"I came to ask you for some advice," she said, her eyes desperate.

"Really?" Leonard responded, a small smile playing at his lips. She usually came to Penny for advice.

"Yeah..." she said, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. "I was just wondering if... Well, you know..." she sighed, failing to bring the words in her brain to her mouth.

Leonard saw the conflicted expression on the tall girl's face and decided to go fix himself some coffee. Mia was just like her father, and he knew that she'd still be thinking about how to pose her question when he got back.

He returned a few minutes later with two mugs of coffee and placed one in the girl's hands. She didn't drink it, of course, but it did seem to relax her a bit.

She suddenly sat up. "Okay, I think I've got it."

"Shoot," said Leonard, propping his feet on the coffee table.

"Okay. Just stop me if I'm mistaken, but it has come to my attention that in your sixty or so years of life, you've been primarily without a mate. However, based on the data that I've collected from my parents and Aunt Penny along with my own personal observations, it's obvious that you have a great capacity to love. Based on these findings, I have concluded that you've been... _rejected_ on more than one occasion," Mia said, only briefly stopping to run her thumb over the rim of the mug. "But again, stop me if I'm mistaken."

"Nope, seems about right so far," he said, feeling somewhat dejected.

"All right," she continued, evidently feeling better. "If you were to go back to a time where you were in the position to ask a girl to prom... how would you prefer your proposition to be refused?"

"Well, it depends," he said, standing to pace around the room. "Did you already say yes?"

The adolescent tapped her heels together. "Yeah," she responded dismally.

"That's a tough one," he said, placing his coffee on a coaster. "Are you sure you can't just go with him?"

Mia ran her hand through her unwashed tresses. She was afraid of that being his best advice. "Are _you_ sure that you can't think of anything else?" she groaned, standing up to meet him.

"Look, Mia," he said, grabbing her narrow shoulders. "If you absolutely have to do this, you should try to get the guy alone and talk through it in private, not at school, all right?"

"All right," she whispered, looking down at the floor.

"Hey," he said playfully, pulling her in for a hug. "Just remember that you don't have to do anything that you don't want to do," he consoled her.

Mia pulled away from his embrace, suddenly uncomfortable with the physical contact. "Thanks, Uncle Leonard," she said as she swiftly exited, not even stopping for a goodbye.

She was suddenly too tired to think about feelings any longer. Not Eli's, not her Uncle Leonard's, and certainly not her own. She needed to talk to someone who knew how to put feelings aside when need be.

Oh.

Of course.


End file.
